my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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