When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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