6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
