i think i have herpe
just one?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize