Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
