need another drink. this is the easiest way
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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