I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize