I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Is it because I queefed?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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