I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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