You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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