I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Ladies don't puke and tell
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
