I love black thongs
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
