we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
