Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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