some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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