so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize