I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
