I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize