found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
