don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
