yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
