Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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