worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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