remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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