and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
