We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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