i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
