saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
