sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i already hear my dad disowning me
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
