I think i peed on brittanys purse
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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