it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
