I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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