I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
