You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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