Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
