I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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