Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
All I want is dick and wine.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
