in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
