Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
