ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
