You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
