I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
