Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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