Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
