Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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