Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
