her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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