My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
