Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
