So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
