I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
