Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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