I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize