I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
