oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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