I wish I could teleport
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
