So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
