I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
