I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
