I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
