I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
