well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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