I cannot find my penis.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize