You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
