what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
