he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
